Becoming of Angel
by SD130413
Summary: When Gladys left power of attorney of her little girl to Olivia she had to make a decision that would decide if the baby would live of die, when it came down to it she couldn't play God. Eventual E/O
1. Chapter 1

**My Fan Fic ban to complete school work isn't going so well Here is yet ANOTHER new story! I hope you like it and eventual E/O **

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN L&O SVU OR ANY OF IT'S FRANCHIZE IT'S A SHAME CZ I WISH I DID. LOL. **

"_I'm glad you made it, we don't have much time." The doctor explained hurriedly as they walked towards the room that held the baby girl. _

"_What's wrong?" Olivia asked panicked. _

"_The baby's brain is bleeding we need your permission to operate immediately." She explained. _

"_What are her chances if you don't?"_

"_Not good." She replied honestly. _

"_And if the surgery's successful?" _

"_She could have brain damage for the rest of her life." _

_Olivia's breath hitched in her throat, she heard the doctors words but that was not the voice going through her mind, it was Elliot's telling her that people shouldn't play God, was telling the doctor to pull the plug on the treatment playing God in the way Elliot meant it? Was he right in saying if she was a parent that she would understand?_

"_Detective I need you to make a decision."_

_Again she heard the doctors voice but she was thinking of the argument she'd made against Elliot, she'd told him it was cruel to let a child who'd need life time round the clock care live but she wasn't sure now if she was right. _

"_Detective?" The doctor said pulling Olivia out of her thoughts. _

_Olivia's mouth opened but nothing came out for a moment. She couldn't play God. _

"Do it. Save her." Olivia replied as she looked over at the baby girl she had power of attorney over, this could be her only chance at being a parent.

"Go!" The doctor yelled and Olivia could only stand there wide eyed as she watched them wheel the baby girl out the ward.

She stood there. Paralyzed to the ground as she wondered whether or not she'd made the right decision or not.

"Olivia." Elliot called rushing into the room and wrapping his arms around her.

"How did you know?" She asked returning the embrace.

"Cragen called." He replied rubbing his cheek into hers.

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she clung to Elliot, they were silent tears, for the little girl she'd made the decision to keep alive and she wasn't sure if she'd made the right decision.

"I couldn't do it." She croaked.

"What?" Elliot asked not hearing her.

"I told them to save her Elliot. I couldn't play God." She explained.

"Oh Liv." He replied wrapping her up tighter as she sobbed harder. "You did the right thing."

She pulled away from him violently.

"What?" He asked as she wiped her tears.

"How can you say I made the right decision? Even if she makes it through surgery, she may never have a normal life." Olivia explained. "The only decision I made was based on something you said, don't play God, you're catholic that's important to you but I'm not religious Elliot, I made the decision because of my selfish want to be a mother." She snapped.

"You're going to be an amazing mother to that little girl because Gladys isn't going to get help Olivia, she's going to be back on drugs and back on the street in no time while that little girl is going to get a real Mom from you, it's the most responsible thing Gladys has ever done in her life." Elliot replied rubbing her shoulder.

"That little girl could go through a lifetime of pain never able to do anything for herself Elliot because I told them to save her; I'll have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life." Olivia explained shakily.

"But that little girl will know nothing but love, care and happiness with a mother like you." Elliot replied.

"What happens if Gladys comes to get her back and revokes my rights?" Olivia asked. "I don't think I could live if I fall in love with her and bring her up as my own if that happens." She cried.

"We'll keep an eye out for her, as soon as she's arrested you can file for adoption because if she gets back into prostitution or drugs we'll file for adoption for you as she's an unfit mother, there has to be something we can do to make sure you keep her forever." Elliot replied enveloping her in her arms again just as Captain Cragen walked into the room.

"Well?" He asked seeing Olivia's tear stained cheeks as she moved away from Elliot.

"They're operating on her brain." Olivia replied shakily.

"They told me to take you down to the waiting room by the operating room." Cragen explained extending his arm to her and wrapping it around her as soon as she was close enough.

"What have I done?" She whispered as they walked away, she still wasn't sure if the decision she had made had been the wrong one or the right one.

Once she was sat down and Elliot bought her a coffee she sat trying to calm down her racing thoughts.

"Olivia there's something else they told me when they told me to come here." Cragen began.

"What?" She asked looking up and latching her eyes on his.

"Gladys hasn't named her. They're waiting for you to." He explained gently.

"Name her?" Olivia asked. "I don't ... Gladys never said what she wanted."

"Take your time, but if the worst happens they don't want to call her baby doe..."

"Don't you ever!" Olivia snapped. "Ever again."

"Sorry." He replied knowing that he'd really hurt her.

"I'm sorry." She sighed. "I'm just so confused."

She dropped her head into her free hand and sighed, she couldn't get around what had just happened, her whole world had changed and she didn't know if it was for the better or worse.

"El." She whispered taking his hand in her own.

"What?" He asked stroking her hand with his thumb.

"Can you ... could you go and find me a baby name book?" She asked.

"I can do that. Want me to go now?" He asked.

"Yeah." She replied. "If you don't mind. I just want to chose the perfect name, make sure the book has like explanations of what the names mean."

"Ok." He replied giving her hand a kiss before leaving.

Olivia sat back in her chair and closed her eyes still trying to calm her thoughts knowing she had a fight ahead of her.

"Olivia if you want time off I can sort that." Cragen said as she began to take the seat beside her.

"No, no I think I'm better off at work, as long as I have my cell phone." Olivia replied gently. "I need to be busy and when she gets out of here months down the line ... that's when I'm going to need time off."

"Ok." Cragen smiled weakly and nodded.

The baby now known as baby Benson was back in NICU after four hours in surgery and Olivia was sat in the chair beside the bed flicking through the baby name book, every name she chose she looked at the little girl beside her wondering if the name would suit her.

"Ok?" Elliot asked coming over to her.

"Yeah." Olivia replied. "Just want the perfect name you know."

"I do." He nodded pulling a chair to sit opposite her.

He looked at the tiny baby in the incubator, his heart bled. The infant was smaller than the palm of his hand and was covered in wires hooking her up to all sorts of machines.

"Nadina." Olivia whispered looking at the baby girl.

"What?" Elliot asked.

"The name, what do you think of the name Nadina? It means hope, it's Russian and French for hope." Olivia explained.

"It's a nice name." Elliot replied.

"But is it right?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know Liv it's your decision to make." Elliot replied gently.

"Sorry, I just can't seem to make a decision on my own." She shrugged.

"Olivia, whatever name you chose is going to be perfect for that little angel lying there." Elliot whispered giving her knee a gentle squeeze.

Olivia's eyebrows cocked as she thought and Elliot could almost see what was going on in her mind, she had an idea but was thinking it through.

"Come on Liv." He said knowing once she said what she was thinking out loud it would make think clearer.

"Angel Nadina." She said.

"Angel of Hope." Elliot replied.

"Yeah." Olivia replied her eyes flickering as she thought.

"It's perfect Olivia." Elliot whispered.

"Can I really name her Angel?" Olivia asked looking at him.

"You could call her Angelica?" Elliot suggested.

"Angelica Nadina? No, Angelica Nadine? No, Why is choosing baby names so difficult?" She frowned.

"I think Angel Nadina is beautiful and there is plenty of children out there called Angel." Elliot replied giving her a comforting smile.

Olivia turned to the baby and looked at her the name almost chanting in her head as she looked at the fragile human being.

"Angel, Angel Nadina Benson." Olivia whispered.

"Angel Nadina Benson." Elliot replied smiling.

"It's right." Olivia nodded. "It's perfect for her."

Olivia walked into the precinct the next morning trying to hide how tired she was.

"Olivia, nice outfit." Cragen smiled.

"You've used that one before, I know, I was wearing it yesterday." She replied laughing at his lame excuse of recycling a joke.

"Did you go home last night?" He asked.

"No I couldn't leave Angel." She replied.

"Angel?" Cragen asked having not heard the name of the baby.

"Yeah, Angel Nadina is what I named her, the name Nadina means hope so it's like Angel of hope, I liked the name Nadina from the baby book and then Elliot called her an angel and it kinda fit." Olivia replied as she went for the stairs.

"Did you even sleep?" Cragen asked.

"Yes." She lied.

"Go home Liv. You're no good to me like this, take a couple of days, you'll know when you're ready to come back." Cragen replied knowing Olivia was struggling with everything.

"Thank you Captain." She replied before turning on her heels, home wasn't the destination in mind.

When she walked into the hospital she did not expect to see Alex Cabot stood by the crib.

"Alex?" She asked.

"Hey, Cragen called and told me." She explained her eyes not moving from the tiny bundle.

"Oh, how are you?" Olivia asked going over to the side of the incubator and cleaning her hands before slipping them through the holes in the side to touch her little girl.

Alex just watched as Olivia's finger tip stroked the top if the baby's head so gently but she was sure the baby was reacting to her touch.

"She's so small Olivia." Alex croaked.

"Yeah one pound and three ounces small." Olivia replied. "But she's perfect."

"She's so beautiful. What's her name?" Alex asked.

"I named her Angel Nadina." Olivia replied.

"You named her?" Alex asked in surprised.

"Yeah Gladys didn't name her and as I have power of attorney that left me to chose her name, she's my little Angel of hope, it just felt right to name her that." Olivia explained.

"How are you holding up Olivia?" Alex asked.

"Dealing with the fact that the chances are she won't survive and if she does then the chances are she'll be mentally handicapped." Olivia replied. "I could have stopped all treatment yesterday Alex, you know when Elliot and I argued over what was best for her and I thought it was cruel keeping her alive, I got here yesterday and the decision was in my hands and I couldn't do it ... I just ... I just kept remembering Elliot telling me we couldn't play God and so I told them to save her, even if it means she'll have a poor life. I was selfish." Olivia replied.

"No you weren't." The doctor who'd asked for Olivia's decision the night before smiled coming into the room.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.

"Your decision wasn't selfish Detective, Angel is doing well, her body temperature is slowly rising to normal, she's responding to light stimuli, she's not out of the woods yet but I'm now more hopeful than I was before we operated." She explained.

Olivia's eyes stung with tears as she thought that maybe the little girl in front of her would develop normally after all.

"I bought you these Olivia, something for you to read over if you get bored, they might lift your spirits a little." Alex smiled handing a file over to Olivia. "I have to go, arraignment at eleven. I'll pop by later, hang in there and call if you need me." She smiled embracing her friend.

"Thanks Alex." Olivia smiled before taking the seat beside the incubator.

"Keep your spirits up Detective, I'll be back in fifteen minutes to check on her." The doctor smiled before walking off.

Olivia opened the jacket Alex had given her and pulled out a handful of print outs. The first one alone made her smile.

_Faith Sutton born at twenty three weeks turns ten today_

The headline screamed, as Olivia read through the story she found out that the only problems the child had was hitting her developmental mile stones a little later than most, she could walk by age three and by age five she was a normal happy five year old except she was a little shorter than all of her friends but not by much from the picture Olivia was looking at.

There was a total of twenty articles, all of them premature babies who'd grown to have happy healthy and normal lives and Olivia couldn't help but be more hopeful that Angel would get to be one of those lucky children.

**Sooo hope you like the first chapter of Becoming Angel. **


	2. Chapter 2

**This story does skip a little through it all but you'll know how much by because I'll tell you. **

**:D**

It was the day Angel turned three weeks old and Olivia had just finished work and had gone straight to the NICU to be with the baby she now comfortably called her own.

"Hi Olivia." Nurse Katrina smiled coming into the room soon followed by Doctor Brianna, Angel's main doctor.

"Hi Katrina, Hi Brianna." Olivia smiled, she'd been on first name terms with everyone working in the NICU since the end of the first week.

"I'm here because we have some good news." Doctor Brianna smiled just as Elliot walked in, he'd left the precinct after Olivia and as he had been every time he visited he had is digital camera in his hand, he'd taken a picture of Angel every day since her third day and Olivia had received copies from the hospital from day one and two which they had taken not expecting Angel to live.

"Good news?" She asked not wanting to get her hopes up.

"She's reached her goal weight of two pounds and nine ounces." Doctor Brianna smiled.

"That's two days earlier than planned." Olivia replied, she'd been keeping notes about Angel's progress and had been writing down everything the Doctors and Nurses had been telling her.

"Yes it is, now does Mommy want to have her first cuddle with baby Angel?" Doctor Brianna asked.

Olivia's mouth fell open as her face glowed.

"Of course." Olivia nodded.

"Ok sit down and I'll pass her too you, Katrina will have to stand beside you to hold the ventilator pipe so it doesn't get caught in anything." Doctor Brianna explained.

Olivia just nodded, her heart hammered inside her chest, with excitement and fear all rolled into one as she was getting ready to hold Angel for the first time.

"Ok here we go." Doctor Brianna smiled gently as she slowly passed Angel into Olivia's waiting arms.

"Hey baby, hey Angel." Olivia smiled blinking back the tears as Elliot snapped pictures. "Wow I can't believe we've gotten this far."

"She's doing better than I expected Olivia, don't get your hopes up because with premmie's anything can happen but she's a fighter and a very healthy little girl, if we don't get any complications and she continues to hit her mile stones I don't see why she won't grow into a very healthy little girl." Doctor Brianna smiled.

"Olivia why don't you look at me and smile so I can have a picture of you smiling?" Elliot asked.

Trying not to laugh she looked at Elliot the smile natural as she was beaming with joy as Elliot snapped the photo he knew Cragen wanted for his desk.

"I don't want to put her down." Olivia whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"You can have another five minutes Olivia, there's no rush, she's holding her own body temperature well now." Doctor Brianna replied.

Olivia gently placed her finger by Angel's hand and somehow Angel found it and grasped onto it. Elliot snapped a picture while Doctor Brianna and Nurse Katrina's mouths fell open.

"I didn't expect that." Doctor Brianna smiled. "I'd seen she'd been trying to grasp, Olivia I think she's recognising your touch."

"How?" Olivia asked gently not understanding what she meant.

"You've been stroking her while she's in the incubator, I think she recognised your finger." Doctor Brianna explained as Olivia's thumb brushed along Angel's knuckles.

"This is the best day ever." Olivia whispered as more happy tears rolled down her cheeks.

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The next morning Olivia was sat at her desk typing up the fives on her latest case. She didn't hear Elliot come up behind her until he placed a pink wrapped gift on her desk.

"Elliot?" She asked but he didn't look back at her as he carried a blue gift wrapped parcel into the Captain's office.

"I believed you were waiting for one of these." Elliot explained as he handed the gift over.

Cragen looked up at Elliot and frowned.

"It's not my birthday Elliot." Cragen replied.

"I know but I wrapped Liv's also." Elliot explained as Cragen began to open the gift.

He looked up at Elliot his eyes shining with tears.

"When?" Cragen asked.

"Yesterday, I got them printed first thing this morning." Elliot explained.

Cragen looked back down at the picture of the smiling detective holding the tiny baby girl in her arms in a silver frame.

"You didn't have to get it framed." Cragen replied knowing that the frame hadn't come cheap.

"I wanted too." Elliot explained before going out to the bullpen where Olivia rushed over to him and threw her arms around him.

"Thank you." She smiled before dropping a kiss on his cheek.

"You're welcome Olivia." He smiled giving her a kiss back.

Munch and Fin wondered what was going on and came over to be nosey.

Fin picked up the photo frame and showed the picture to Munch, it was of Olivia looking down at a very tiny bundle in her arms which held Angel.

"You held her?" Fin asked knowing how much Olivia had been waiting for that moment.

"Yeah, yesterday for the first time. Oh Fin it was amazing, she's so small and then she grasped my finger and ... She's just perfect."

"I can tell." Fin replied handing the frame back to her so it could join the other five on her desk with pictures of Angel's developmental stages that they'd caught on camera.

"So is she out of the woods?" Munch asked not understanding how sick Angel really was.

"No Munch, she won't be for a while but she's getting there." Olivia replied honestly. "We just have to keep praying."

Olivia had never been religious but since Elliot's words that she shouldn't play God had been what made her decision to fight for Angel she'd been sneaking off to Church without telling anyone just for some time alone to think and to pray for her daughter.

As her cell phone rang and she saw the caller ID she knew her face had turned a sickly shade of white that had Elliot's full attention, he knew who was calling her.

"Benson." She answered trying to sound calm.

_Olivia, its Doctor Brianna I have some news for you, good news for you._

Olivia let out a breath that had hitched in her throat.

"Go on." Olivia replied.

_We've been running tests on Angel's lungs all morning and we want to transfer her from the ventilator which has been doing all her breathing for her to a different ventilator which will only breathe for her when she doesn't breathe herself._

"Ok?" Olivia replied unsure what was going on.

_We were wondering if you wanted to be here when the procedure is done, it's not necessary but once the machine is hooked up she'll breathe on her own near enough for the first time._

"Is there any risk with the procedure?" Olivia asked knowing she had to stop rushing off every time the hospital called.

_No, if it doesn't work we'll hook Angel straight back to the ventilator to breath for her._

"Ok can you call me? I'm at work so I don't want to leave if it isn't an emergency, just call me and let me know how it goes please." Olivia replied even though she badly wanted to go down and sit in the waiting room waiting for news.

_I will do Olivia, I'll call you when we're done._

"Thank you." Olivia replied before hanging up.

"What is it?" Elliot asked seeing Olivia smiling.

"They're moving Angel onto a machine that will only breathe for her when she isn't breathing for herself. Not like the ventilator which has been doing all the breathing for her." Olivia explained smiling, she knew this was another mile stone and she couldn't help but be hopeful and proud of her little Angel.

"That's brilliant Liv." Elliot smiled knowing by Olivia's face alone that she was happy.

"I know, I can't believe that this is another step closer to getting her home El." She smiled.

"It is Liv, have they given you an expected time phrase to when you'll be able to take her home?"

"Elliot, I've barely been there alone you've always been with me either before or after so if I had any idea when she was allowed home do you really think I wouldn't tell you?" She asked.

"No sorry you're right." He laughed, he'd been practically playing daddy to Angel, he'd bonded with her in the way he did his own children and he'd even found himself getting even closer (if that was even possible) to Olivia while they bonded over Angel.

"I was actually thinking Elliot, I need to go shopping for Angel and I was wondering ... well I was wondering if you'd mind coming with me." She asked, not only because he was her best friend and had been there for her every step with Angel but because he was already a father and knew what Angel would need better than her.

"Sure. If we don't catch a case how about we go at lunch?" He smiled.

"Great, there's a boutique on West 78th Street that makes clothes for tiny premature babies, so we can see if there's anything we can get for her there." She smiled.

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Four hours later Olivia and Elliot were arriving the hospital after their shopping trip. Olivia had a bag full of clothing for Angel and she couldn't help but sit by the incubator and fold the tiny pieces of clothing up and place them in the little cabinet.

"Olivia, how are you?" Doctor Brianna smiled coming into the room.

"Good, I've just being doing some shopping." Olivia explained nodding her head towards the clothes.

"Do you want to put something on her?" Brianna asked.

"I hadn't even thought about it really, can I have something put on her?" Olivia asked holding small pink trousers.

"Yeah, I'll help you dress her she won't be able to wear one pieces with the wires for some time but we can put a two piece on her." She smiled coming over to Olivia.

Elliot snapped away with his camera as Olivia and Doctor Brianna slowly and carefully dressed Angel in pink pyjamas. Doctor Brianna then placed Angel in Olivia's arms and arranged the wires so she wouldn't get caught in them.

"Elliot, press this buzzer and I'll come and put her back in the crib." Doctor Brianna smiled before leaving them alone.

"She looks much healthier just being clothed." Olivia smiled as gently bounced Angel in her arms.

"Yeah she does, she looks well Liv." Elliot smiled kneeling down beside her.

"Knowing that she's going to be in here for months hopefully growing and getting healthier, it's all worth it, she's just so beautiful." Olivia smiled as she gently stroked her thumb across Angel's knuckles. "I can't wait to be able to feed her, change her and hear her cry."

The tears built in Olivia's eyes and Elliot couldn't tell she was crying till she sniffed.

"Hey Liv." He whispered wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She sniffed.

"What's wrong Olivia?" He asked gently.

"I'm scared Elliot." She admitted. "Scared that something will happen that she'll get sicker. Scared that Gladys will come back and take her from me, I'm petrified El."

"Hey." He whispered pressing his forehead to her temple. "Angel, is your little girl, you're going to stay by her side and she's going to get better and then you're going to bring her up and she's going to have a Mommy who loves her more than life itself." Elliot told her.

"Doesn't stop the fear El. The chances are Gladys will come back at some point and take her away." Olivia whispered as the tears continued to fall.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it Liv, for now, you need to hold it together for Angel." Elliot whispered stroking Angel's tiny arm.

"Oh my goodness Elliot, your finger is thicker than her arm." Olivia didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that.

"Yeah, but it won't be for long, she's going to grow big and strong." He whispered gently.

"I hope so." Olivia smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

**This story does skip a little through it all but you'll know how much by because I'll tell you. **

**:D**

When Angel reached the eight week old mark, Olivia couldn't have been happier. She had gone through so many stages and now she started to look like a healthy baby. Elliot and Olivia spent many hours by Angel's bed. Sometimes Elliot would go alone when he knew Olivia would be working or at home resting, his marriage had broken down now, Kathy hated him and all she ever did was complain that he spent more time with Olivia and Angel than he did his own kids, not that he wanted it to be that way but Olivia and Angel needed him more than his own family did, he knew Olivia wouldn't have held it all together had he not been there for her through everything.

Olivia had noticed that Elliot was with her at the hospital more than he was home with his own family, not that she complained, she needed him and she knew that he knew that. She'd struggled with Angel being such a sick child, she'd found everyday hard and tiring and she'd become emotionally exhausted and it was so obvious that George Huang had been pleading with her to take a week off and be with Angel and not worry about work but the truth was work was the only thing keeping her together, she had to be strong for the victims she was working with and that kept her from crumbling by thinking about Angel too much.

Olivia walked into Angel's room after having some dinner and she was surprised to see Elliot sat holding her.

"Hey." She smiled seeing him rocking a sleeping Angel.

"Hey, sorry I hope you don't mind." Elliot replied knowing she'd been nervous about him holding Angel when she was around.

"No of course not." She smiled taking the seat beside him.

"She looks so peaceful, I didn't want to put her down." He explained.

"It's ok. I mean, it's nice to see her not in that box." Olivia explained nodding her head towards the incubator.

"Yeah, she looks healthier now, she's pinker." Elliot replied knowing all Olivia wanted to do was get her home.

"Well the doctors say her apnea has gone, that's why she's on oxygen now instead of the CPAP machine, hopefully she'll keep getting better and stronger from here." Olivia replied smiling knowing that every day was one day closer to taking Angel home for good.

"Look." Elliot whispered as Angel's hand went into her mouth.

"Oh my goodness." Olivia replied with a smile. "That's so beautiful."

"Isn't it." Elliot smiled looking from Olivia back to the small bundle in his arms.

"Can I take her?" Olivia asked feeling the need to hold her.

"Of course." Elliot smiled and gently passed her over.

Olivia held Angel to her chest and grabbed the small pink blanket before wrapping it around Angel's bare back. Doctor Brianna came into the room with a wide smile on her face which could only mean good news.

"Well?" Olivia asked.

"She's perfect, she would be thirty two weeks now if she was still in the womb and she's developing well, I don't see why she won't be able to go home soon, she can hold her own temperature, she's feeding properly, her breathing is fine, she'll need oxygen for a few weeks but that's not a problem I'll teach you how to change the tank but Olivia she's very healthy and so far I don't see her having any issues as she grows. Many premature babies have severe infections and problems when they're born but apart from the pressure on her brain when she was born she's had no problems at all." Brianna explained happily.

"She can come home soon?" Olivia asked in shock.

"I'm hoping by the end of the week." Brianna smiled.

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Doctor Brianna had been right on the mark. The following Sunday Olivia and Elliot were preparing Angel to go home. Olivia had been taught how to change the miniature oxygen tank and how to tell it needed changing. She'd been shopping for a bassinet and was more than ready to have Angel home with her, she'd been given two weeks from work by Cragen as a form of 'maternity leave' to get Angel settled at home and give Olivia time to sort out childcare and everything else she needed to sort out.

"Ok?" Elliot asked as Olivia finished changing Angel's diaper.

"Yeah." Olivia replied as she lifted Angel into her arms. "Perfect."

Gently Olivia placed Angel in the pink car seat she'd bought and strapped her in. Angel seemed happy and Olivia was glowing at the prospect of taking her home. Elliot was also happy, he'd been waiting for this moment with Olivia and he was excited to see them finally home together.

"So are we all ready?" Doctor Brianna smiled coming to say her goodbye.

"I think so." Olivia smiled shakily, she was nervous about taking Angel home as well as excited.

"Any problems you have my number don't hesitate in calling even if it's the smallest thing ok?" Brianna smiled as she stroked Angel's cheek.

"Sure." Olivia nodded.

"She's healthy Olivia, she weighs five pound six now, which is a healthy weight for her, she looks like a new born baby who hasn't had any of the complications she's had, and you're going to be great." Brianna smiled as she hugged Olivia.

"Thank you for everything Brianna, you've been brilliant." Olivia smiled as she embraced the young doctor back.

"Oh it was nothing, it was nice to see such a sick baby become so healthy, some babies aren't so lucky as Angel here is."

"I know, I feel so lucky." Olivia replied smiling.

"Now take care and I'll see you in two weeks for her follow up and bring plenty of pictures with you. I know Elliot's snap happy with that camera of his, I want to see them all!" Brianna laughed as she helped put the oxygen tank on Olivia's shoulder before Olivia lifted the car seat into her arms.

"Well this is it." Olivia smiled.

"This is it." Brianna smiled.

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The apartment was very warm when Elliot and Olivia walked in with Angel. The bassinet was set up in the living room and it would be obvious to anyone walking in that a baby lived at the address with all the toys, nappies and accessories all around the room. Once they were inside Olivia fed Angel before placing her gently down in the bassinet and putting the mobile on to sing the young girl to sleep. Elliot wrapped his arm around Olivia's shoulder as they both watched her chest rising and falling.

"Why don't you head for home Elliot, I'm sure Kathy would like to see you." Olivia whispered after a short time had passed.

"Kathy and I are separated Olivia, she's filed for divorce." Elliot replied going to sit on the couch.

Olivia stared in shock, she couldn't believe what he had just told her.

"Why El? What happened?" She asked.

"I fell in love with someone else, I've been in love with someone else for a very long time and she knew it too but it just took a piece of magic to make us both realise that our marriage was a sham." Elliot explained.

"You're in love with someone else?" Olivia asked in shock, he was her partner, she should have known before anyone but she hadn't.

"Yeah." Elliot sighed. "I have been for a very long time Liv." He whispered.

"Who? Someone I know?" Olivia asked completely oblivious to what Elliot was about to say.

"Yes, someone you know very well, actually I think the only person who knows her better than you is me." He replied knowing he knew her better than she knew herself.

"Oh, Alex? Casey?" Olivia asked thinking of her best friends. "Melinda?"

"No, Olivia I've been in love with this person for nine years, since the day I laid eyes on her, it just took a little miracle, an Angel to show me that." He explained and Olivia's face blushed as she realised what he was saying.

"Oh." She replied.

"I love you Olivia, I love you so much and it took Angel to make me see it." Elliot explained.

Olivia didn't know how to reply, she didn't know what to do or say so she sat there motionless looking over at the crib where Angel was sleeping soundly.

"Well say something." He asked desperately.

"I don't know what to say Elliot." She replied honestly.

"Well you could tell me if you feel the same." He said knowing he wanted badly to hear her say that he felt the same.

"Elliot ... gee El I've always loved you but you've always been married I ... I thought that was it I've buried my feelings for you for nine years because I thought ... I thought it could never happen because of Kathy." She explained quietly, she was telling him the truth, she'd struggled to hide her feelings for him when they first started working together but then it had become easier as time had passed.

"Liv..."

"What?" She asked turning to him.

"Kiss me." He whispered moving his head closer to hers.

As soon as he was close enough she latched her lips onto his and felt the fireworks fly between them, she'd imagine this, his kiss, over and over in her mind and was content in believing that it would never happen. She let her hand reach for his face and then wrapped both arms around his neck, his arms wrapped around her waist not wanting to let her go.

The kiss continued, she could taste the bitter sweet sweat that had started on his top lip, she could feel his tongue dancing against her own, the overpowering smell of arousal mixed in with his sour aftershave. He hadn't shaved so the prickles of his chin scratched at her own but it didn't matter.

He could feel her soft skin against his own brittle skin. He could taste her and he loved the taste of her, he could feel her teeth on his bottom lip slightly painful but more pleasurable. The emotions running through his veins were one, love and want for Olivia to never let him go. He could smell the perfume she was wearing, sweet as flowers in may, he never wanted this moment to end.

When she finally broke the kiss her forehead fell onto his, both of them covered in perspiration but neither one of them caring at all. Their breaths were shallow, both of them gasping for as little air as they could as they still held one another neither willing to be the first to let go. They both were smiling, finally being able to admit to each other how they felt free without barriers.

"We're going to be in trouble." Olivia whispered her eyes still closed.

He knew she was smiling without opening his eyes, he could tell by the sound of her voice that even though her words made her out to be scared she was still smiling.

"Who cares." Elliot laughed breathlessly.

She laughed too, just a small laugh but it made Elliot's skin tingle, he'd always loved her laugh but in their work laughter was a rare commodity.

"God I love you Liv." Elliot whispered giving her a gentle kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you to El." She replied before latching her lips onto his once again.

This kiss wasn't slow, it wasn't gentle, it was desperate, full of want and need almost animalistic in fashion. They both fell back into the couch and as Elliot pulled her closer he pulled her leg over his hip so their chests could touch.

**I don't know how realistic it is with her going home after only 8 weeks but I wanted her home so I don't care. Lol. **


	4. Chapter 4

**No skip here!**

**:D**

Olivia lay in bed looking at the ceiling, it was gone two am and Angel had just had her third feed of the night, it wasn't that Olivia couldn't sleep it was that she didn't want to, she was terrified that if she fell asleep then something would happen to Angel. She turned onto her side and smiled as she saw Elliot sleeping silently, he looked so peaceful lost in his own world of dreams. She let out a gentle sigh and Elliot wrinkled his nose and shifted slightly making Olivia smile again. As she closed her eyes she gently listened to the sounds coming from the bassinet, she wasn't planning on going to sleep but she realised if she closed her eyes she could listen more intently to the sounds emulating from Angel.

The cry that echoed across the room had Elliot jumping from his sleep but Olivia had already climbed out of bed and darted to the bassinet and scooped Angel into her arms. She slowly returned the pacifier that had slipped out and gently jiggled Angel back into a light sleep. Elliot came over and rested his hands on Olivia's shoulders and she smiled before leaning her head towards him, wanting him to kiss her and he didn't disappoint.

"You weren't sleeping." He whispered as he pressed his forehead into her temple.

"I couldn't." She replied gently. "I'm so scared that she'll stop breathing and I won't be able to hear her because I'll be asleep."

"Olivia, you can't go the next few weeks without sleep because you're scared, she'll be fine, you've done everything Brianna told you to do by getting her pacifiers ... I mean who'd have thought a pacifier reduces the risk of cot death?" Elliot whispered not wanting to wake Angel up.

"I know, but what ... I don't know what I'd do if I lost her now." Olivia whispered but Elliot could hear the crack of a cry in her voice and could tell she'd gotten teary even if he couldn't see the tears building in her eyes.

"She's going nowhere Liv, she's healthy, she's strong and she's happy with you. Come on put her down and come to bed." He whispered gently as he caressed her shoulders relaxing her as much as he could.

She gently bent her head and dropped a light kiss on Angel's head before placing her down in the bassinette. She then got into bed with Elliot and he wrapped her up in his arms.

"This is weird." She laughed gently.

"What is?" He asked dropping a kiss on the back of her head.

"Ten weeks ago I was just Olivia, now I'm cuddled up in bed with the man of my dreams and I have a kid, the only other thing I've ever wanted." She explained as she gave his arms a gentle squeeze.

"All good things come to those who wait Liv, I never thought I'd be lying here with you even though I wanted it more than anything." He replied.

"I have everything I ever wanted, that's why I'm so terrified, I'm scared I'll lose it all again." She whispered knowing she could tell Elliot the truth because he'd already worked it out for himself.

"Sometimes Liv, you have to enjoy the moment, live like it's your last day and just be happy you have everything for now, if something changes then it changes but I'm going nowhere and neither is Angel."

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Olivia had expected to wake up to Angel crying but when her eyes finally flickered open it was to her phone ringing the familiar ring tone she'd set for Don Cragen. She didn't answer it as she jumped out of bed to find Angel's bassinette empty and Elliot nowhere to be seen. She rushed into the living room and found him feeding her on the couch and smiled.

"You going to answer that?" He asked without looking at her.

"Oh yeah." She laughed before going back into her bedroom with her phone so she wouldn't disturb Angel. "Benson." She spoke into the handset. "What?" She listened intently as Cragen gave her some details down the phone. "No, no I'll be there soon. Bye."

Olivia hung up the phone and walked into the living room as calmly as she could even though her heart was hammering inside her chest. Elliot looked at her and he knew something was wrong by how pale her naturally olive skin had gone.

"Olivia what is it?" He asked.

"Cragen called uh," She frowned as she stumbled on finding the right words to tell Elliot what her Captain had said. "They uh, they got a call, they ... they found Gladys." Olivia explained.

"What? Where is she? Is she asking about Angel?" Elliot asked hurriedly as he finished burping Angel and nestled her back in his arms.

"No ... No she's ... Elliot they found Gladys' body, she's dead."

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Two hours later and Olivia and Elliot were walking into the precinct. Olivia had luckily bought a baby carriage suitable for carrying the oxygen tank as soon as she'd been told that Angel would need to be on oxygen for a long time. When they were in the elevator Elliot gave Olivia's hand a gentle squeeze before letting go, they didn't want their co-workers to find out about their relationship in this way.

"Olivia." Cragen said as soon as they entered the bullpen.

"What happened?" Olivia asked as she lifted Angel from the carriage into her arms being careful not to tangle or catch the oxygen pipe.

"Rape homicide." Cragen replied.

"Where was she found?" Olivia asked wanting to know all the details.

"In an alley off a hundred and eleventh street." Cragen told her honestly knowing why she was asking.

"Tox screen?" Olivia asked.

"We haven't got the results back yet Liv." He replied.

"She was hooking again wasn't she?" Olivia continued her mind in overdrive.

"Yeah." Cragen nodded.

Olivia sighed and blinked back the tears in her eyes, she was sure that Gladys had really gone away to get some help and that she would have come back a better woman, but she hadn't gone anywhere, she'd gone straight back to doing what she had always done.

"Is that my great niece?"

Olivia spun around her heart hammering inside her chest.

"Mrs Dalton." Olivia replied unsure what to do.

"Is that my great niece?" She asked again hobbling over.

"Yes." Olivia answered.

Elliot watched, knowing that she was petrified about what was going to happen.

"What's her name?" Mrs Dalton asked as she scooped her hair behind her ear.

"Angel. Angel Nadina." Olivia replied nervously wondering what the woman would think.

"Ah Gladys always had a wild imagination choosing such a strange name." She replied with a smile on her face.

"Gladys didn't chose it, I did." Olivia told her firmly.

"Oh." Mrs Dalton replied. "It's a nice name. I'm guessing I'll be taking her now then."

"Actually you won't be Mrs Dalton." Cragen said stepping to stop her from trying to take Angel from Olivia's arms.

"Why not? Gladys has died, I'm her great aunt, she has no one else." Mrs Dalton replied in surprise.

"Gladys passed on power of attorney to Detective Benson, if you want custody you'll have to take Detective Benson through the court to get custody." Cragen explained and he knew that Olivia's heart was hammering inside her chest.

"I have to ... I have ... what? You're telling me I have to go to court to get custody of my own great niece? My own flesh and blood?" Mrs Dalton asked in shock.

"Yes, Gladys wanted Angel to be with Detective Benson, and that's where she's been for the past nine weeks, Angel is a very sick baby Mrs Dalton and the best place for her is with Detective Benson." Cragen explained, he wasn't going to stand back and watch the woman take Angel from Olivia, he'd help her fight.

"Fine, well I guess I will see you in court Detective." Mrs Dalton replied.

"Yes you will, because Angel belongs with me, she's poorly, she may even be disabled, she isn't going to become a pay check for you." Olivia told her firmly, she knew that Mrs Dalton had no interest in raising Angel, she just wanted the pay check she could get for taking care of her.

"I resent that Detective, I just want to bring up my great niece seeing as my niece is dead." Mrs Dalton replied before turning on her heels and hobbling off.

Olivia swallowed and looked at Cragen, then Elliot and then at the tiny baby sleeping in her arms. She knew there was going to be a fight ahead of her, she had to prove that she was a better caregiver and mother to Angel than her own flesh and blood would be.

"Olivia." Elliot whispered.

"What?" She asked turning to look at him.

"We need to get a lawyer." He told her firmly. "We need to get the best."

"Langan." Olivia replied. "We need Langan."

**Dun dun. So next chapter is the meeting between Olivia, Trevor Langan and Elliot. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Another short skip of five days in the next chapter. **

**:D**

Olivia sat with her head resting on Elliot's shoulder and Angel in her arms sleeping. They were sat outside Trevor Langan's office waiting to be called in to see him.

"Ok?" Elliot asked rubbing his cheek into Olivia's head.

"Scared." She summed it up in one word.

"Me too." Elliot replied turning to kiss her head gently.

They heard the door open and jumped apart as Langan came out smiling.

"Olivia, Elliot, lovely to see you both." Trevor Langan smiled. "Why don't you come in?"

Olivia and Elliot walked into the office and took a seat on the large black leather couch. Elliot looked down at Angel and gently started to stroke her cheek as Langan sat on the chair beside the couch.

"Ok why don't you explain to me what's happened?" Trevor smiled gently.

"Yeah, uh, well Angel's biological mother Gladys passed on power of attorney to me and said she was going away to get help for the drugs and stuff, but then she didn't she went back to hooking and she was found dead. When we were at the precinct her aunt was there and wanted to take Angel, Cragen explained she couldn't without going through the court but the thing is Trevor she's mine, she's my daughter and has been for nine weeks and I can't hand her over to a woman who has two kids of her own and is on disability. She can't give Angel everything she needs, Angel's sick too." Olivia explained her voice cracking towards the end.

"Ok what do you know about Angel's birth mother's life with her aunt?" Trevor asked needing to know everything.

"I visited the apartment once, found that Gladys slept on a couch not a bed and shared a room with her two younger cousins. Her aunt was a little rough with her when she found out she was pregnant, and it's her aunt's fault that Gladys was hooking because she wanted rent money." Olivia explained.

"Ok, I need to know everything about your situation, you're going to be a single Mom who works all hours and you live in a one bedroom apartment so about now in the eyes of the law you and Mrs Dalton are evenly matched."

"Evenly matched?" Olivia asked in shock.

"I know, I know Angel will have a better life with you, but in the eyes of the Law Olivia the blood relative has more of a chance. First you need to move to somewhere that will have at least two bedrooms and be on the ground floor in case Angel's very poorly and ends up in a wheelchair." Langan explained. "There's nothing we can do about you being a single Mom ..."

"Yes there is." Elliot interrupted making both Olivia and Langan turn to him. "Liv, I've been there for you and Angel from the start, we're together now, let me adopt her with you." Elliot explained hurriedly.

"What?" She asked in shock.

"Oh come on Liv, I want to be there for you and Angel for the rest of your lives, let me be her Dad let me adopt her with you." Elliot replied putting his arm around her and dropping a kiss on her cheek.

"But you already have four kids Elliot, and I don't even know what WE are." She replied.

"If you don't want me to then that's fine Liv but I want to, I want to be a Dad to Angel, I love her as much as I love my other kids and I love you more than life itself." Elliot explained further.

"I love you too El, just this is so much, I want you to be here for both of us too." She replied tears stinging her eyes.

"Then we'll do it, we'll apply to adopt her together." Elliot replied pressing his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.

"To do that you'll need to announce your relationship and have only one property between the two of you." Langan explained.

"We'll do that." Elliot smiled gently.

"Ok go and get that done and then we'll take it from there." Langan smiled.

"Ok." Olivia smiled. "What are our chances Trevor?" She asked needing to hear the truth.

"Now? Much higher than when you first came in here." He replied.

"How high?" Olivia asked.

"Very Olivia, I won't take no for an answer on this, I will make sure you become Angel's Adopted Mother if it's the last thing I do." He said firmly.

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After leaving Langan's office Olivia and Elliot agreed that the first thing they should do is go and announce their relationship to Cragen. They knew that the consequence would be, they probably wouldn't be able to be partners anymore but it was a small sacrifice to have a life together and make a real life for Angel Nadina who was as much their daughter as she would be would she have been born to them biologically.

They walked into the precinct together. Elliot was pushing the large pink baby carriage through the precinct as Olivia linked her arm around his, they could see Munch and Fin smiling and pulling faces at the fact they were visibly much closer now than they had be and Olivia guessed there was a bet in place on them too.

Olivia swallowed hard as she leant over and knocked on Cragen's door, his gruff voice called for them to come in and Olivia went first holding the door open for Elliot to push the carriage in. Cragen smiled and came over to see the sleeping baby that Olivia had told would someday call him Granddad, he was scared of bonding with the tiny child but he couldn't help it, every time he looked at her he fell a little more in love with her.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked as Olivia turned away from them and walked towards the desk.

"You may want to sit down Cap." Olivia told him and he shrugged and sat down in the large leather chair behind the old oak desk.

Elliot stepped beside Olivia and she slipped his hand into his and looked from their hands up to his eyes, it was a give away to what was going to be said but Cragen wanted to hear the words from their mouths.

"Olivia and I are moving in together and are adopting Angel together as a couple." Elliot said getting straight to the point.

Cragen nodded weakly as a thousand questions floated into his mind. He tried to choose one, for now, the right one but he wasn't sure if he could ask it without offending them.

"Is it ..." He took a deep shaky breath as the two detectives stared at him. "Is this going to be a relationship of convenience?"

Elliot and Olivia stared at him in shock unsure what to do or say in reply.

"What I mean is Elliot are you doing this just so Olivia can keep Angel?" He explained.

"We know what you meant!" Elliot spat angrily and loudly causing Angel to start screaming. Olivia rushed over to the carriage and pushed it to the desk so she could life the baby without having to carry the extra weight of the oxygen tank.

"I'm sorry guys but I have to ask." Cragen sighed. "Are you moving in together and adopting Angel as a couple out of convenience."

"Why does it matter?" Olivia asked angrily but quietly as she tried to soothe Angel in her arms.

"Because the judge will ask that and if the aunt get's a good lawyer, he or she will ask that two and I know that neither of you will lie under oath, you haven't before and I am sure as hell you won't start now." Cragen replied as gently as he could even though he wanted to yell, he was considerate of the blubbing Angel Olivia was shushing.

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and Elliot winked and smiled at her, she knew what he was thinking but she couldn't help but blush at the thought. He leant towards her and her eyes flickered closed as he pressed his lips gently to hers, for a moment it lingered there until his hand reached to the back of her head and he deepened it, just enough to show that he wasn't kissing her for a show, that he meant every second of it.

"Is that enough proof that we aren't doing this out of convenience?" Elliot asked a bright red Captain.

"Ok, and yes it is but don't let me ever witness that again." He replied as Olivia laughed gently snuggling her cheek into Angel's head.

"Well then congratulations and for now when you're both back after a five day paid leave you Olivia will be partnered with Fin and Elliot you'll be partnered with Munch just till I can figure out what to do next." Cragen explained sighing, he should have seen this coming.

"But I'm off on leave anyway is the suspension being added on?" Olivia asked knowing she was still off for a few days.

"It's your choice Olivia, like I said it's paid so if you need the extra five days they're yours but if not then you have an extra five days to take some other time." Cragen smiled knowing Olivia was enjoying being off with her daughter but was itching to get back to work.

"I'll let you know, because for the next five days we're going to be looking for somewhere to live." Olivia smiled happy that she was finally getting everything she'd always wanted, even if it was uncertain.

"I'm guessing you were going to come and ask for leave anyway?" He asked turning to Elliot who smiled his signature smug grin.

"I was." He replied shrugging.

"How long?"

"A week." Elliot replied. "But five days is good."

"Take the week, call the extra two days paternity leave." Cragen replied making both Elliot and Olivia brake out in wide grins.

"Thank you Cap." Olivia smiled gratefully.

"Now go and find yourself a new home!" He smiled and they quickly placed Angel back into the carriage and left stopping briefly to tell Munch and Fin the news.

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**Dun dun. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Another short skip of five days in the next chapter. **

**:D**

"This place is perfect." Olivia smiled as she sat back on the new black leather couch in the living room of their new home.

"Yeah it is, shame we had to come out to Queens I know you didn't want to leave Manhattan Liv." He sighed coming to sit beside her.

"Yeah but we needed a place big enough for you and me and Angel and your kids for when they're here for the judge to even consider us eligible to adopt her." Olivia explained. "Leaving Manhattan for Queens is a small sacrifice."

"Really?" He asked because he was sure she hated having to leave the city she was born and bred in.

"Really, this place is huge El and it has a garden and Angel will have her own room, whereas if she was with Gladys' aunt she would be sharing a one bedroom apartment with two other children. We'll prove that Angel will have a better life with us Elliot. We have too." The tears stung her eyes as he pulled her gently into his shoulder.

"Angel is our little girl Olivia, ours you got that?" He was trying to reassure her the best he could.

"I got that." She smiled as Angel started to squirm in her arms.

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The next morning Olivia and Elliot were waiting for the arrival of a social worker who was going to be checking their house and judging everything they did, their relationship, their conditions, they even had to give the court all the information on their financial situation, how much they earner, how much expenditure on bills and necessities but they both knew that even with their combined wage minus expenditures they still earned more per year than Mrs Dalton did. Olivia sat in the newly refurbished nursery with Angel in her arms being fed. Elliot was in the kitchen doing the washing up and both almost jumped out of their skin when the doorbell rang.

"I just need to finish nursing Angel." Olivia spoke into the air knowing that the baby monitor was on and one part was in Elliot's pocket.

Elliot knew that meant he would have to greet the social worker alone.

"Good Morning Mr Stabler."

"Good Morning, please come in." He smiled opening the door wider to allow the tall, lean woman enter his new family home.

"I'm Jackie and I will be conducting the home inquiry for the New York State Court regarding the case of Angel Nadina Benson." She smiled extending her hand to a very nervous Elliot.

"Nice to meet you and please call me Elliot, Olivia is just nursing Angel at the moment in the nursery, would you like some tea or coffee while we wait?" He showed her into the spotless living room.

"Coffee would be wonderful, black no sugar please." She smiled. "Actually could I come through to the kitchen I can ask you some questions while we wait?"

"Of course but won't you prefer asking us questions when we're together?" Elliot asked showing her the way into the kitchen.

"Yes but I have questions for you separately too." She explained as Elliot began making the coffee. He heard a soft voice began to echo from his pocket and then remembered that he had the baby monitor in his pocket, once he'd put the coffee on he pulled it out and turned the volume up so he could hear what was going on.

The smile that spread over his face was an exact visible replica of the joy and love that filled his heart as he listened to Olivia singing somewhere over the rainbow to Angel.

He suddenly remembered the social worker and turned the machine off and placed it on the counter, there were four monitors and Olivia would have her own on when she finally lay Angel down.

"Does your partner often sing to Angel?" Jackie asked as Elliot poured the coffee out.

"First time I've heard her but I'm sure she does, she loves music does Olivia, we used to be on late night stake outs and she'd hum along to every song on the radio." He smiled as he remembered some of the stake outs they'd been on at three in the morning and Olivia would be humming along to the likes of Gwen Stefani and the pussycat dolls just as his teenage daughters did.

"You have five children from a previous marriage am I right?" Jackie continued. "Thank you." She smiled accepting the coffee from Elliot.

"Yes, Maureen, Kathleen, Elizabeth, Richard and Eli." Elliot replied.

"And how are they coping with the sudden change in your relationship with your partner and the arrival of a possible new sibling?"

"Well Maureen is surprised it took Olivia and I this long to get together as is Kathleen and Elizabeth, Richard is disappointed because he's always crushed on Olivia since he understood what crush was and then Eli is only two but he seems happy with everything."

"What about their attitude towards Angel?"

"They all love her already, including Eli." Elliot pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and showed the picture of Eli and Angel that had been taken the previous evening when they'd all been around for Pizza.

"That's beautiful." She smiled as Olivia walked into the room carrying a guzzling Angel.

"Someone doesn't want a nap." Olivia explained as she gently tickled Angel under the chin with her finger making her giggle and kick her legs.

"Aww she's adorable." Jackie smiled stroking Angel's cheek. "Hi sorry my names Jackie, social worker." She explained extending her hand to Olivia.

"Olivia." She replied before turning to Elliot. "Why doesn't Daddy take Angel so Mommy's shoulder can have a rest from this oxygen tank?"

Olivia spoke in a baby voice making Angel giggle even more before being handed over to her dad's arms as Olivia got to take her coffee.

"Mmh thank you baby." Olivia smile giving Elliot a gentle kiss on his cheek. "So where do you want to begin?"

"How about you show me around the house?" Jackie suggested. "Then we can sit down and I can ask you both some questions before making an evaluation for the court."

"Sure well you've seen the kitchen how about we go upstairs?" Olivia smiled extending her hand to show the way.

Olivia calmly walked up the stairs trying to hide all of her fears, the truth was she was petrified.

"Ok so this is the nursery." Olivia smiled opening the bright front bedroom.

The social worker went in and began scribbling on the board. Olivia loved the room, it had been painted a pale pink and Olivia had got different size butterflies in light purple, white and glitter covering on wall. There was two white book shelves with photo frames and small trinkets that people had bought her, there was a small bassinette which would be put away soon as Angel was growing and growing fast. There was a white crib waiting for when Angel would be big enough, with a matching changing table as well as a matching rocking chair that Olivia spent ample amount of time holding Angel. There were plenty of large teddy bears around and one white wardrobe which contained all of Angel's clothing, most of which were in sizes too big for Olivia that would be available for when she was bigger.

The social worker checked everything, the inside of the wardrobe, she put her weight on the changing table and checked the security of the side of her crib. When she was done she nodded at Olivia who took her into the next room which was opposite the nursery, hers and Elliot's room.

"Mine and Elliot's. It's right opposite the nursery for ease of access and next door to Eli's room for ease of access." Olivia explained. This room was just scanned. Olivia had chosen how to decorate it herself, it was light blue, black and white, lots of flowers on the duvet and curtains, bold and bright so different to the beige and cream of her own apartment.

"Ok now I'll see Eli's room, then we're done up here, the older children are all above sixteen so I don't have any need or right to see their space." Jackie explained.

"Of course right this way." Olivia smiled taking her into the room beside her own.

It was decorated in two shades of blue with large palm tree stickers and monkeys and giraffes, Eli loved animals.

Once back downstairs it was time for the interview. Angel was finally asleep and Elliot placed her in the downstairs bassinette to sleep, they'd luckily been given one by Alex Cabot and Eli's old one by Kathy as well as the one Olivia had bought meaning there was one in the kitchen, one in the living room and one in the bedroom.

"Ok so how did you two get together?"

"Well we've been work partners for nine years, when Angel was born and power of attorney was given to Olivia I knew she couldn't handle it on her own and helped her out as much as I could, I confessed to her how much I loved her, explained to her that I wanted to be with her and Angel and be a family. So Angel's nine weeks old now we got together about a week or two ago." Elliot smiled as he wrapped his arms around Olivia who snuggled into his chest.

"So it's a very short relationship then?"

"Yes but we've been in love with each other for nine years, it's just taken us a hell of a long time to get to where we are now." Olivia replied smiling as Elliot kissed her gently on the head and stroked her hair back.

"I understand, so do you have any plans for marriage?"

"It's not something we've really talked about yet, we've been too busy trying to move house and get settled in with a new baby who is a very sick baby." Elliot replied. "It's not that we're saying no to marriage it's more not yet."

"Exactly, Elliot's divorce is yet to be finalised so if we were thinking of marriage it would be after his divorce is finalised." Olivia added.

"Good point, so how have you both been having Angel home with you?"

"It's been good, we work well together don't we baby? I mean we take it in turns to get up to feed her and take it in turns to nap through the day, we're preparing to go back to work on Monday, we've found a nanny who has worked with premature babies who's going to be here while we work until we can figure something out with the captain about our hours." Olivia explained.

"So you have plans on going back to work?"

"Yeah we both start back on Monday, it's fast but I don't qualify for maternity leave as she's biologically not mine." Olivia explained heavily, she'd much prefer a few weeks off with Angel but it just wasn't possible.

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**Dun dun. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry it's been a while! **

"It's been a week since that Social Worker visited Elliot, why on earth is all this taking so long?" Olivia groaned, she was desperate to know if Angel would be theirs or not.

"I know it's a long process baby, I'm sure we'll get a court appearance date soon." He replied as his hands worked into the muscles of her shoulders, it had been a long day of paperwork in the special victims unit squad room and Olivia was just looking forward to going home with the man of her dreams and her baby.

"Benson! Fin! You've got a case!" Cragen called walking from his office.

He slapped a sheet of paper into Fin's hand and Olivia sighed and looked at Elliot, she sure as hell missed working with him.

"See you later." She smiled reaching up and dropping a peck on his cheek.

"I'll get Angel from the Nanny's." He smiled knowing she would be pissed if this case had them working all hours meaning she couldn't be with her daughter.

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The case wasn't as long as they had expected it to be, within three hours Olivia and Fin had spoken with the seven year old rape victim and arrested her step father and now they were on their way back to the precinct with their perp in the car. When Olivia's cell phone rang she almost jumped having expected it to be a quiet ride.

"Benson." She answered lazily, she was tired now and just wanted to get home and see her baby and boyfriend. "You have got to be kidding me!" Olivia snapped angrily. "I know it's not your fault ..." She was trying to stop herself crying, having their perp in the backseat was definitely and excuse not to cry. "Of course, bye."

"Liv?" Fin asked as he turned into the precinct parking lot and uniformed officers arrived by their side to escort the perp upstairs.

She said nothing until she was sure that the perp was out of earshot. Luckily Fin saw what was coming and managed to catch her before she tumbled to the ground in wracked sobs.

"Liv what is it?" He asked her as she cried silently, her body trembling against his as he held her.

"They've ... they're giving ... Angel's great aunt ... tempo-temporary custody..." She hiccupped through her tears.

"Ok I'm going to call Elliot." Fin replied letting her go gently as he grabbed his cell from his pocket.

Once he'd hung up the phone Fin took Olivia back up to the squad room and so that she didn't have to speak with anyone she took her to Cragen's office, knowing he would need to know what was going on. When the office door opened Cragen was going to say some snide remark about the person knocking before entering but when he saw a broken Liv being almost carried by her partner he quickly stopped what he was doing and helped pull up a chair for her.

She wasn't crying anymore, but the tear stains on her cheeks and light hiccupped breaths were a clear notice that she'd not only cried but sobbed her heart out.

"What happened?" Cragen asked Fin.

"The court have given Angel's great aunt temporary custody." Fin explained in a near whisper not wanting to set Olivia off again.

"No." Cragen gasped. "Why?"

"I don't know Liv hasn't said anything else." Fin shrugged just as the door burst open and Elliot rushed in and wrapped his arms around Olivia who broke out in fresh sobs.

"Where's Angel?" She hiccupped.

"With Munch." Elliot replied as he held her tight.

"They can't do this Elliot, I'm her Mommy." Olivia sobbed hard.

"I know you are, and we'll fight it baby, we'll fight so hard I've already called Langan and he's crying child cruelty that Angel will be going into a strange environment with strange people and it will be traumatic and overwhelming for such a sick baby." Elliot explained as Olivia's sobs slowly subsided.

"She doesn't know how to do the oxygen tank and all the meds, what happens if she does something wrong El she could kill her and I don't trust her not to do something like that on purpose!" Olivia gasped the frightened look on her face showed that she meant what she had said, she didn't trust the woman not to kill the baby.

"Ok Liv, I'm going to call Langan until then I'll bring Angel in here, there has got to be something we can do." Cragen told her firmly, he was that baby's grandfather and he'd be damned before he let her be pulled away from her family.

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It took nearly two hours for them to get anywhere but Trevor Langan managed to get an emergency hearing set up would have testimonials from Angel's doctor which would hopefully prove that the best place for Angel was with Olivia and Elliot.

The two of them made their way to the courtroom with Angel sleeping soundly in her carriage. Olivia was determined to have her there even though Langan had said if this didn't go their way she would have to hand the baby straight over without causing a fuss and that would mean a limited chance to say goodbye.

They sat together in the courtroom, Elliot was sat beside Langan with Olivia on the other side and Angel still asleep in the pushchair beside Olivia. The family court judge had them all seated and the process began immediately.

Doctor Brianna was sworn in, the only problem for Olivia was that Ms Dalton's attorney would try and tarnish the testimony of the doctor because of her now personal relationship with Olivia.

"Doctor Brianna, you were the main caretaker of Angel Benson when she was in the hospital right?" Langan started.

"I was." Brianna replied simply remembering that she had to keep her answers direct and to the point if there was any hope of Olivia getting temporary custody back.

"Can you explain to me what is wrong with Angel?" Langan asked.

"Angel was born prematurely. A few hours after her birth she had a problem with her brain on which we had to operate. She's come leaps and bounds from there, but her body is still immature in comparison to her age. She has the body of a new born yet she is now nine weeks old. She's on steroids to help her growth and eighty percent oxygen to help her breathing as well as vitamin supplements injections."

"What are the vitamin supplements for?"

"Well as Angel's biological mother wasn't around she had to have formula milk as we couldn't get any of the breast milk which is filled with natural vitamins, the supplement is so that Angel can have the same nutrients and vitamins as she would get should she be nursing from the breast." Brianna explained.

"How often does Angel need these medications?"

"The oxygen is on at all time, the bottle needs to be changed every six to eight hours depending on Angel's breathing, the steroids are three times a day and there are a total of four different vitamin shots that have to be given at different intervals throughout the day."

"Could a non-medical professional administer these injections?" Langan was quick to fire questions in the way Brianna was quick in answering them.

"Only with numerous committed hours of learning the technique of administering them and learning how to keep a diary of times throughout the day the injections where given." Brianna replied.

"Have you personally trained anyone in this room how to administer these injections and at what time and how to keep this diary?"

"I trained Olivia Benson daily over a period of four weeks."

"Thank you no more questions." Langan smiled before going to sit down.

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Ms Dalton's attorney had been quite vigorous with her questions, she'd questioned the amount of time Olivia and Elliot had spent at the hospital, she'd questioned the personal relationship between Olivia and the doctor, she'd even gone as far as to ask the doctor about the hours Olivia and Elliot had worked in comparison to those spent at the hospital.

The judge was now out leaving Olivia and Elliot nervously waiting for the verdict. Huang, Melinda, Alex, Cragen. Munch and Fin had all come over to the courthouse to support them while they waited for a decision and when they were called back into the courtroom each one of them were filled with nerves.

"It is obvious to me that Angel Nadina Benson is a very poorly child. In the small amount of time since her birth she has had a very traumatic time and has suffered more than any child should suffer. I can see that both parties are very interested in taking care of Angel, are willing to give her the time that she needs as she battles to become a healthy baby however in this case we have to think what is medically better for Angel. As Angel needs a strict routine that has already been set up by Olivia Benson who has power of attorney over her from her deceased mother I find it in the best interest of the baby that she should remain in the care of Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler until the custody hearing takes place." The judge banged his gavel while Olivia and Elliot wrapped up in each other's arms.

"She's ours for now baby." He whispered into her ear as she cried with joy.

Olivia could only manage a weak nod as the SVU squad came over to congratulate them and look in on a sleeping baby Angel. They were all blissfully unaware of the conversation happening between Trevor Langan and Ms Dalton's attorney right behind them until Ms Dalton's voice echoed around the room.

"But that's unfair!" She yelled grabbing everyone's attention.

"What's going on?" Elliot asked Langan angrily as the yell had startled Angel awake and she was now screaming in Olivia's arms.

"Ms Dalton wants to come to some sort of agreement so this can stay out of the courts but she wants custody with visitation rights for you and Olivia." He explained in a hushed whisper.

The look on Elliot's face said that there was no way that was going to happen.

"Listen when you've come to some sensible arrangement then call us but until then you stay the hell away from my daughter." Elliot hissed before taking the pushchair while Olivia settled Angel in her arms slinging the oxygen bag over her shoulder.

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**Dun dun. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it's been a while! **

Two weeks after being in court Olivia and Elliot had heard nothing. They both knew Trevor Langan was working hard so that they could get full custody of Angel but they knew it was going to be tough for them all and the verdict could go the other way.

Olivia was sat in the nursery slowly rocking Angel as she fed her. She'd become much healthier over the past two weeks. Her oxygen level was down to sixty percent and the steroid injections were slightly weaker in strength as Angel slowly became healthy.

"Hey." Elliot smiled coming into the dark room.

"Hey El." Olivia smiled as she sat Angel up to be burped.

"She's getting big." Elliot smiled as Olivia's hand rubbed up and down the baby's back.

"Yeah, I can't believe she's three months old, yet she barely looks a few days old." Olivia replied knowing that their baby was going to always be smaller than her age.

"I know Liv but she's just perfect." He smiled as Angel started gurgling. "I wouldn't be surprised if she started talking soon!"

"Wishful thinking, it would make this parenting thing a lot easier!" Olivia laughed knowing Angel wouldn't speak until well after most children.

"You're an amazing Mom Liv don't ever doubt that." He beamed as she passed him Angel.

"I don't but right now Daddy needs to take Angel so Mommy can have a pee." Olivia laughed as Elliot tucked Angel into the crook of his arm.

"Go pee." He told her as she tickled Angel's stomach.

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Later that afternoon Olivia and Elliot were hard at work on a series of date rapes.

"This guy wasn't a first timer when he hit Amelia." Fin sighed, they'd been working on this guy for nearly a week now and he was tired of it.

"No, we knew that, we need to find this guys first victim." Olivia explained.

"You ran the MO through VICAB right?" Elliot asked and Fin nodded.

"Try and change the search a little." Olivia said making the men look at her. "Don't put in the latex gloves, that wouldn't have been in his first one and don't put in that he climbed through an open window, his first might have been an acquaintance rape or opportunity rape, so we may not be looking for a man in a ski mask who wore latex gloves and climbed in through an open window." Olivia explained further.

"I'm on it." Fin nodded before going to sit at his desk and run the search just as Olivia's cell phone began to ring.

"Benson." She answered as normal.

Elliot looked at her and she signalled for him to come closer to her as she knocked the phone on speaker. "Say all that again please." Olivia said.

Ms Dalton was rushed into hospital last night, her foot has got gangrene and she's developed pneumonia. Langan's voice echoed around the squad room.

"Ok so what do you want us to do?" Olivia asked.

She's asked if you would go and see her with Angel, she understands that you probably don't want to but she says you'll understand why when you see her. Langan explained.

"Ok no problem which hospital?" Olivia looked at Elliot who didn't look worried so it relaxed her a little.

Saint Catherine's.

"Ok thanks Trevor bye." Olivia hung up and looked at Elliot.

"I'll go ask Cragen if we can head off why don't you call Hannah and see if she can get Angel's things ready?" Elliot smiled.

Olivia nodded and proceeded to call the nanny while Elliot went to explain to Cragen why they were heading off early.

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Once at Saint Catherine's hospital Olivia and Elliot used their shields in order to find out where Ms Dalton was because it wasn't visiting time. It was plainly obvious that they weren't there for business because of the snoozing baby in a large pink carriage but they didn't say anything and happily told Olivia and Elliot where she was.

Nervously Olivia held onto Elliot's hand with one hand pushing the carriage as they headed for the elevators. Once the door closed Elliot wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Don't worry Liv, hopefully this is good news, it sounded like it on the phone." Elliot smiled gently.

"I hope so El." Olivia sighed as she pushed the carriage out onto the floor.

They went straight to Ms Dalton's room and were surprised to see a very sick woman lying in bed with an oxygen mask on her face and as Olivia scanned her that's when she noticed that Ms Dalton had half a leg missing.

"Thank you for coming." Ms Dalton's raspy voice startled the two detectives.

"How are you Ms Dalton?" Olivia asked sitting down in the chair beside the bed.

"Dying and enough of the Ms Dalton, it's Sandra." She smiled gently.

"Ok Sandra what did you want to see us about?" Olivia spoke to Sandra Dalton as if she was one of the victims, she couldn't help it as the woman looked so frail and sick.

"I'm dying Detective." She said before coughing viciously and Olivia helped her sit up and passed her the water. "I didn't know how bad everything was but now I know I could never look after Angel."

Olivia tried not to smile as this was the best news ever regarding Angel's future but not so much as they sat in the presence of a dying woman.

"I wanted to ask you both something." She continued once she'd calmed down and stopped coughing.

"Ask away." Olivia replied softly as Sandra took her hand and Olivia didn't pull back.

"I have two daughters Detective. Emma and Emily, they're in temporary foster care while I'm in here." She explained and Olivia nodded, she couldn't help but feel for the two girls right now. "If they go into the system, they'll be just like Gladys before they turn around and I don't want that for them."

"Right." Olivia nodded as she listened to the frail woman speak.

"I'm not going to make it out of here to see them grow up." Ms Dalton continued and Olivia's heart broke for her. "I wanted to ask you and your partner if you'd ... if you'd consider having them too I mean I understand if you say no but you and your partner have shown such love and care to Angel and I want my girls to grow up together and with family and Angel is their family." She explained and Olivia looked at Elliot who looked just as shocked as she felt.

"Please Detectives, I can't ..." She coughed again as Olivia's heart broke even more. "I can't let go unless I know my girls are safe."

Elliot and Olivia locked eyes with each other. They were speaking with each other without exchanging a single word, they looked down at Angel sleeping in her carriage and Olivia looked back at Elliot and nodded her head.

"We can take the girls." Elliot told her and Sandra pointed at the drawer beside the bed.

"What is it?" Olivia asked standing up by the drawer.

"In there ... papers." She wheezed and Olivia opened the drawer and pulled out a thin stack of papers. "I had them drawn up ... in the hope ... that you would say yes." She explained her breaths becoming shorter and shorter with each passing minute.

"Ok." Olivia nodded as Sandra Dalton picked up a pen and signed her name on the bottom. "There is no one else, no one who could fight you for them, sign this bottom paper and they're yours."

Olivia took the papers and flicked to the bottom ones and gasped. They were adoption papers for all three children, Emma, Emily and Angel.

"El." Olivia whispered showing him the papers.

"Please." Sandra gasped and Olivia quickly signed and then handed the papers to Elliot who signed them too. "Just get them to a judge to make it legal." She whispered just as the door opened and two little girls skipped in with what seemed to be a social worker.

"Mommy!" They both squealed rushing over to their mother's bedside.

Olivia moved out of the way to allow room for the girls to get passed her. She went over to Elliot and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Are they really coming home with us?" Olivia asked in a whisper.

"We've just adopted three children Olivia." He whispered into her ear. "They're ours."

Olivia was in shock as she listened to Ms Dalton explain to the children and the social worker and showing the papers that made Olivia and Elliot legal guardians and the adoption papers.

"I'll get these to a judge." The social worker smiled as Olivia and Elliot spoke with Emily and Emma trying to get to know them a little with their mother before she passed away.

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At six forty seven that evening Sandra Dalton fell into a permanent slumber in the presence of her daughters, the detectives and her great niece.

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**Dun dun. **


	9. Chapter 9

**I really don't know what to do with this story anymore so this is the last chapter!**

Olivia sat on the couch feeding Angel while Emma and Emily were watching TV in their bedroom. It was tough, Olivia had no idea what she was doing and she was terrified.

"You need to relax." Elliot told her as he slowly started to work her shoulders.

"I don't know how to El, I mean there's two little girls in there who have just lost their Mom and I have to look after them now, I mean I thought looking after Angel was hard enough but now there's Emma and Emily too and I don't know what I'm doing." She explained the fear audible in her face.

"You're not alone Liv, I'm here and I'm going nowhere you know that right?" He asked her gently.

"I know but I'm terrified El, what if I don't do this right?" She asked.

"Olivia, you need to stop this worrying you're going to make yourself sick, you've been brilliant with Angel and you can stop worrying that someone's going to take her now. Emma and Emily are good girls, they're grieving for their Mom at the moment and their pushing you away so they don't get hurt any more but give them a chance and they'll accept you ok?" He told her softly.

"It's not them not accepting me I'm scared of Elliot, what happens if I don't do this right? What about their futures I'm not made to be a mom!" Her voice filled with panic.

"Liv if anyone I know was made to be a mom it was you ok?" He told her firmly. "Secondly, parents make mistakes, every parent does but you learn from them and don't do them again. Those girls are going to be all the better being with you and their Mom knew that and that's why she left them to you, so that they can have a chance at life without getting lost in the system, she's extremely grateful to you that she could go without worrying about her kids future because with you they have one Liv unlike what they would have had if they would have gone into the system." Elliot told her firmly.

He was right, in every sense of the word but that didn't stop her from being worried and being scared.

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The funeral was a very sombre event. Other than the kids the only people there were Elliot, Olivia and their friends from the one six who'd come to support her.

The kids were tearful and very clingy towards Olivia which she didn't mind, Elliot kept hold of Angel while Olivia held hands with Emma and Emily.

She remembered her own Mother's funeral, she remembered how hard it had been to watch the coffin lowered into the ground and as she stood holding two tearful little girls her own tears slid silently down her cheeks, her heart was crying out for these girls and she made a silent promise to their mother that she would make sure they grew up well, that they'd want for nothing as it was the least she could do.

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**Sorry but I've been trying to figure out where to take this story for so long and I thought it's over already so I thought I'd give a concluding chapter for you. **


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